JP Sando

Film, TV, Literature & Theatre Graduate

02.A05. Creative

The Dead Celebrity – A Debut Novel

The Dead Celebrity book cover

JP Sando is an author from York, who is self-publishing his debut novel, The Dead Celebrity, later this month. A York St John alumnus, JP in the past has been involved in all kinds of projects including producing music promo videos for bands such as Shed Seven and The Officers under the auspices of his production company, Aarkidproductions. Here he treats us to a sneak preview of his forthcoming publication.

The Dead Celebrity – SYNOPSIS:

Jack Doherty is a man so angry at the world we live in; at all the atrocities committed by the governments and the religions of the world – past and present – that he vents his spleen on a weekly basis, via his popular online rants, through his blog, The Gospel According To Jack. One day, unbeknownst to him, Jack prophetically warns his followers and the world at large that he believes, very soon, something world-changing was going to happen – it was just a matter of where and when? What he forgot to add to the question was – to whom? The Dead Celebrity is the story of the world being sent a message from the other side, that it has to either shape up or suffer the consequences; it is the story of a long dead iconic figure delivering the message and the effect this has on the world at large; and most importantly, it is the story of a straight-thinking, no-messing, everyday man that is chosen to lead the world into the only future we have.

The Dead Celebrity by JP Sando [Opening Extract] (by kind permission of La Biblia Tech 13 Publications)


“Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue about that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock n’ roll or Christianity?” – John Lennon (1966)

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JACK, London, UK – 19th June 2013

I always said I wasn’t the political type. I didn’t have any interest in voting in any election, as it made no difference whoever was in power. You could dress it up however you liked – socialist, capitalist, whatever – they may well start off with different ideals, but they all end up back-shafting you for everything you’ve got, once they get in power. Same goes for the religious lot – Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism – I’ve got no time for any of it. Where along the line did these people get their wires crossed and mistake their mythical faith for a belief either suddenly based on fact or apparently based around ideals worth dying for? Or both? God only knows, pardon the irony, but the moment that all started to happen was the moment religion became the evil, tepid, sorry excuse for a belief system that it is today.

In fact, ever since politics and religion became systems in which the mighty chose to rule over the meek, the little people have let the propagandist leaders of their governments and their religions brainwash them into whatever it is they want them to believe.

Nothing’s changed. In our post 9-11 world, western governments have used such historic events to bring the people into line with the government’s way of thinking. And unless you were already fighting for your own particular cause – so already had a specific point of view on things – who could blame you for following the general consensus of the masses and accepting the supposed facts that a small group of people who hated a large group of people – based on political and/or religious beliefs – killed a great number of the people who were apparently subjects of the larger group of people.

Of course, things are not always as they seem. And while I’ve never been much of a conspiracy theorist, I guess I always thought that things were never completely whiter than white in regards to what goes on – especially on that particular day in history, September 11th, 2001. And ever since that day, things have devolved, rather than evolved, in regards to world relations between differing political and religious factions. And of course, like any period of world history, new conflicts arise as new political powers emerge from once powerful nations who have now found their feet again, politically. Because now, in the year 2013, there is a new cold war. Only this time, the stand-off is between the United States of America and the newest and mightiest power in the world, the People’s Republic of China. Then there’s the ongoing and ever-increasing spat between North and South Korea, not to mention the timeless tensions between India and Pakistan. And of course, in the Middle East, where almost every dictatorship of the past few decades has now been overthrown, and nations once labelled as terrorist-run provinces are now nuclear-powered democracies, there is so much unrest and uncertainty that it’s not so much a matter of if, but when one of these nations uses a weapon that triggers the start of a third, and potentially final world war. And while it may all come under the banner of politics, I can guarantee you all that the political views of each and every one of these nations is derived from their religious preferences. How do I know this? Because I’ve had the displeasure of meeting and interviewing a number of the political dissidents ruling these accidents waiting to happen. Most of them, when they were mere minority opposition leaders back when their respective states were still under the tyranny of their former dictators. But like I’ve already said, nothing ever really changes when the position of power shifts.

Of course, we have similar problems back home, here in the west. We make out as though we’re the civilised ones, but when something unacceptable happens, we just brush it under the carpet. When something we can’t brush under the carpet is unearthed, well, then we call it a scandal. But we, or at least enough people in positions of power, know that whatever scandalous behaviour is being unearthed, has probably gone on since time began and we’ve always known about it, but have just turned a blind eye to it all. I talk of killing, raping, and a whole host of other indecent acts done in the name of one god or government or whatever. It doesn’t matter what name you give them, they’re all the same – they all end up fucking you up the ass no matter what badge they wear. It’s probably too hard to say who invented the pastime? The Christians? The Romans? The Egyptians? Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares? They were all as bad as each other back then, just like they are now!

Now of course, as we stand here in the year 2013 – a number based around the supposed birth-date of a religious figure – things are suddenly getting very scary indeed. As I write this column, each and every week, I have slowly seen how everything over the years has built up to a point where something is going to happen before someone has the chance to diffuse the situation. Something catastrophic! Something cataclysmic! Something that will change the world forever! But then something has to happen, I guess? I think we’re now past the point of no return. You can almost feel that it’s about to happen. It’s just a case of what and where? I just pray – and I use the term loosely and attached to no particular denomination – that whatever does happen doesn’t mean an end to all things.

I just pray that if there is a someone or a something out there and I’ve been wrong all along, that they do just that and prove me wrong and do something about all of this, sooner, rather than later, so that there’s something left for them to save.

There’s no point sending us a saviour when there’s fuck all left to save!

End of rant.

I’ll sign off for now and hope to speak to you all again next week.

Thanks for listening.

Jack Doherty


Image © JP Sando

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